Pretty Much. Life the Universe and Everything

This pretty much sums up my job

2007-11-13T21:44:00.000-08:00

2007-04-20T17:04:00.000-07:00

And now michelle has yet another hole in her head

Pretty Excited for this One!

2007-02-18T21:56:00.000-08:00

So I recently purchased a book called American Fascists: The Christian Right and the War on America by a man called Chris Hedges.
I have seen a couple of interviews with the author and I am very excited to read this book.
Too bad I have 2 mid terms on Thursday! Eventually I will have time to read it. Then I'll blog about how awesome it is!

Rites of Passage?

2007-02-01T11:32:00.000-08:00

So on Monday in my anthropology class we were discussing rites of passage. This seems like a pretty interesting topic and my instructor presented different ideas about the subject and then told us that we were going to watch a video. He often uses videos in this class because we as students are able to get a good visual of what he is talking about in lecture. So she pops the video in and I begin to wonder what rite of passage will be explored in this video. I begin to think about having to watch a circumcision, or perhaps watch some men from that tribe that invented bungee jumping. Have you ever heard of them? There is this tribe where to become a man you must go into the jungle and cut a vine for yourself. With the vine you do what is similar to a bungee jump and this ushers you into man hood. The catch is that the man that comes closest to the ground without smashing his face into it, is the manliest man! The video started and I discovered that I was very wrong in my guessing.

The video was about basic training in the United States Marines! I could not believe it. I decided to give my teacher the benefit of the doubt and watch the "rite of passage". The host of this documentary began to talk about how in the Marines they take a bunch of 18 year old boys and turn them into men. I watched as the scared boys were stripped of the civilian life, and brain washed. This was called giving the boys the tools to become men. Slowly I began to feel sick as I watched the video.

I watched as the boys underwent physical training, learning correct protocol for walking, eating, breathing, going to the bathroom, not thinking for one's self etc. I finally began to feel a great deal of anger when the instructors began to teach the "men" about killing. We are told that the Marines must be able to kill without thinking in a combat situation. So in order to prepare these "men" to do so, they are taught that the enemy is "sub-human". This really pissed me off, and I pushed my chair away from my table and began to think about getting up and leaving the room. How can you assign a lesser value to anyone's life! After this sick comment we see a clip where the "men" are asked the most disgusting question I have ever heard, "Other than blowing up and killing the enemy, what else is a grenade good for?" That was it for me, I got up and left the room. I felt sick, and angry, and disgusted. All the while thinking to myself that this is not a right of passage. These "men" are not being given the tools to be men, they are being brainwashed to be mindless killing machines. At one point in the video the host of the documentary mentions that usually only young men get trained to be Marines. I firmly believe that the reason for this is because scared young men will more readily brainwashed into the killing machine the Marines want them to be. Older men are more capable of thinking on their own and will not be easily swayed from their own thoughts.

A few minutes later I was joined outside by another student, Matthew, and we both discussed that we were unable to stay in the room. We decided that we should go back in the room after the video of complete to stir up some "poop" during the discussion. To our horror there was no discussion! I could not believe it. The instructor was obviously aware that 2 students had left the room, why was there no discussion? Instead he popped in another video that we had not completed in the previous week. This video played until the end of class. So Matthew and I stayed out in the hallway and chatted.

I honestly cannot believe that that video was used as an example for a rite of passage.
Well, I shouldn't say that. Heather pointed out to me yesterday that if you take the context of American society into consideration, then perhaps it is a right of passage.
I still struggle with man assigning value to each individual life. That is NOT our job. God has created us all equal and beautifully made in his image. We cannot as humans have the audacity to then start to play God, and assign value to life. This is why I felt so sick.

I realize that war is sometimes the only answer to conflict, it's not like we can usher people in conflict into a room and make them play rock paper scissors to resolve it. But I do not support the mindless killing that occurs during times of conflict. Honestly I do not have a better idea either. I don't know how human life could be spared in conflict. I just know that I am not cool with it, and I am not cool with the video example of rites of passage in class on Monday.

I don't even know what to call this one!

2007-01-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

So today I heard that Bush has made comments wishing that Saddam Hussein's hanging would have been carried out in a more dignified way.
I guess that he would be the ultimate authority on execution. As the govenor of Texas, Bush concented to the execution of 152 people. 152 people! That was a new record.
Tell me this, how would one carry out killing another human being in a "more dignified" way?

Ahem....is this thing on?

2007-01-07T13:27:00.000-08:00

So I guess I'm due for a new post.
To be honest, I got nothin'!
So here is a general update:

1. New Years was nice. Heather, Liz and I hung out and reveled in our singleness. This involved cheap sparkling wine, and episodes of the OC season 5 on DVD. Yeah, I know, you wish you could be as cool as us too. At about 11:00 we went to Match's loft to ring in the new year with some of the ceebs crowd. We ended up going over to the Steeves, Poon and Roper house to watch the ball drop on thier redonkulously large TV. KT Tunstall totally rocked the hot! A good time was had by all.

2. Heather and I have begun to really get into the planning for our most excellent european adventure. We got a bunch of books from the library and spent like 2 hours at EA going through them. The trip is beginning to feel real! I AM SO EXCITED!

3. Heather and I saw Blood Diamond. That movie is really intense. We both felt all the more convicted to purchase ethically produced products. It's the responsible choice kids.

4. Heather and I also saw Babel. You should probably see it. I am still processing this one.

5. Heather and I took Adam, Jon and Liz for Pho the other night and then went to IKEA. We rounded out the bases, an interesting conversation to say the least...nuff said.

6. Today my friend Abby is getting baptised. I am sooooooo excited for her, God is feeling pretty good about it too. I get the honor of affirming her. I am a little nervous, I've never done this before. I chose Job 22:21-22 for her, then I think I'll talk about how she's a great influence on her peers at youth and that I love her dearly. I am pretty much having a "proud parent" moment today. I'll probably cry.

7. Today at church Pastor Ray actually used the phrase "he saw the star....bucks." Context: before communion we had a time where people could share joys, pray requests etc. A woman talked about how her grandson's friend had come to Christ at Starbucks. Previously Ray had been preaching about Ephipany and talking about star and light metaphor and imagery. He then said the above phrase.
I thought I was going to die, I could not believe he said that. I am pretty certain he is not feel stellar about it either. One of those classic think before you speak moments.

Oh, finally today on the way to church Heather reminded me of something that I have been meaning to blog forever and totally have not.
One Sunday she and I arrived at church to see that there was an ambulance in the parking lot. I looked at it, looked at my watch, and then said to Heather quite calmly "the traditional service must be out."

Keep it hot kids

Jingle all the Way

2006-12-28T11:37:00.000-08:00

So ah....I guess I am due for some sort of Christmas Post.

I guess this is the part where I do that.

Christmas this year was unlike any I have ever experienced, and I quite enjoyed that.
I spent 5 days with my dad, my step mom, my sister and my step brother in a condo at a world class ski restort. Yup, Big White rocked my face off yet another time.

Friday the 22nd
I met my dad and Carolle in Abbotsford to complete the sale of my car. I am so glad that it is finally gone. And the car pays for my European adventure! After that I went back to my house and packed up my things and went to dad's house in Chilliwack for the evening, as we were leaving for Big White the next day.
At dad's house I had a chance to hang out with the family. We began to load the car, had a meal together and then went to visit Greg and Sandy.
Greg and Sandy have quite possibly the largest Christmas tree I have even seen in my whole life. Greg regaled us with the tale of how they managed to get it into the house. Sandy said that she did not allow the tree to come though the front door because she had already decorated the stairway with garland and lights and did not want it disrupted.
The tree was carried by Greg and Derek up the back stairs and onto the deck. They opened the sliding door that leads from the deck into their family room. Greg and Derek then realized that the tree was not going to fit though the door. So Greg came up with a great plan to get the tree into the house. He and Derek took hold of the tree and headed to the doorway at top speed, Greg told Derek not to stop. They ploughed though the door and managed to get the tree inside, and knock over a couple of pieces of furniture.

Saturday December 23rd
We got up early and were on the road by about 9am, this was good as dad had hoped to be on the road by 9:30. I can't believe we actually got on the road early. I have never seen such an unorganized group of people in my whole life. But thanks to dad we managed to do it.
We all got into the 4runner. That's right ALL! 3 grown children in the back seat of dad's '06 4runner. I didn't go too bad though. I was supried that we all got there without killing eachother. Sam complained a lot, but we made it. I finished reading Donald Miller's "Through Painted Deserts" on the way there and began reading Kathleen Norris' "The Quotidian Mysteries" Laundry, Liturgy and 'Women's Work'" I think this one is going to be an amazing read.
After arriving and unloading we relaxed for a while in our beautiful ski in/ski out condo. Then enjoyed a meal together and headed to the village to see what was going down. We went into one of the common buildings in the villiage to discover that "Big White Idol" was going on. There were a couple of ski instructors playing instruments, and guestes were encouraged to try singing along. It was terrible, and funny! There was a cute ski instructor with dreads switching back and fourth between guitar and piano. He was neat.
After that we went back to the condo, and Sam and I discovered that there was a Christmas tree in the condo. We set it up and discovered that there were no decorations. So we spent a great deal of the night making snowflakes out of paper for decorations. We also placed homemade gingerbread men, cocktail umbrellas and candy canes on the tree...that is all we could find.

Saturday December 24th
Christmas Eve! We spent the whole day skiing. In the morning I took off with my sister and we had a pleasent morning hanging out and skiing 4 of 7 chairs on the mountain.
We met the fam for lunch. Dad, Carolle and Sam had spent the morning in the beginner area.
After lunch Amanda and I took Sam and Carolle onto the mountian. After one run with us, they decided to go back to dad.
After skiing the whole family sat in the hot tub for a while. It was very nice. Nothing wraps up a day of skiing like a hot tub and a cold beer! It was devine.
Before dinner there was a Christmas Eve parade in the village. Carolle, Sam and I went. Dad and Amanda were all tuckered out....
So the three of us bundled up, I grabbed a beer, and we headed to the village.
We stood infront of the tent that housed the ski school band. The same guys that had been playing the night before at the "Big White Idol" competition. I made eye contact with the guitar player, and I could tell that he recognized me from the night before.
The parade began and included representitives from places like the ski school, the rental shop, house keeping, skidoo tours, ski patrol etc. Even the Groomer drove though the village! During the parade I finished my beer and I decided that I wanted another one. Not wanting to walk all the way back to the condo I walked to the grocery store because it had a liquor store in the back. I decided to buy 2 single beers, one for me, and I would give the other to the hot guitar guy. Turns out the liquior store only took cash or debit, and I only had my credit card on me...no dice.
I got back to where Carolle and Sam were standing, and I noticed that Carolle was talking to a man. When I got back she said "Michelle, this is Tom" Yup she had convinced that poor guy to stand there and wait to meet me. I was a little shocked, and because of my high level of social retardedness, Tom eventually said it was nice to meet me and walked away. Carolle later told me it was a joke and Tom knew that he was standing there to weird me out.
That was pretty much it for Christmas Eve!

Sunday December 25th
Christmas Day! Carolle seemed to be more excited than us kids about Christmas, and woke us up at about 9. I told her that I would not get out of bed until there was coffee, she is a smart woman and was ready for that. There was coffee made already.
Out of bed we got and came into the living room of the condo. We did not do presents this year, but there were stocking stuffers for everyone.
Then Carole and I made a yummy Christmas day breakfast...well I think I did most of it. She threw some ready-to-bake cinamon buns in the oven. I took some left over ham from a previous dinner and some green pepper and cooked them into some scrambled eggs. Then I put the mixture into a cassaroll dish and put cheese on top and stuck it under the broiler to melt the cheese. It was an amazing meal.
We then did a half day of skiing. Amanda and I took Sam and left dad and Carolle. Amanda and I showed Sam a bit of the mountian. He did really well trying to keep up to Amanda and Amanda did really well trying to keep up with me.
After last ride, I took Amanda and Sam into the village and got us all some hot chocolate. We then returned to the condo for cocktails in the hot tub with the fam.
Carolle made an amazing Christmas dinner for us. Turkey and all the trimmings! It was delicious.

Monday December 26th
I decided to do a whole day of skiing this day and the family opted for a half day. I took off early with my iPod, and had a very enjoyable morning of riding. It was so nice to ski to music, at my pace and not have to wait for anyone to catch up. I also had a chance to talk to many interesting people on the chairlift.
After lunch I decided to meet a Snow Host in the village for an afternoon of skiing. A snow host is usually a retired person who's job it is to ski with people, show them the mountian etc.
When I arrived I was asked how old I was "because we cannot take anyone under 16" I looked at the leader guy and said "no worries...I'm 21!"
I was paired with a woman called Arleen. She was super cool! I was really looking forward to skiing the afternoon with her. We decided that because the visibility was poor we would not ski and black diamonds and just do some Blue cruisers. I was excited! Just as we were about to leave this mother waddles up with her son... I knew that nothing good was going to come of this. He was added to our group...
Arleen was amazing! She could totally keep up with me! The guy could not. We had to wait for him a lot! Oh well, I got to know Arleen better. At one point while we were waiting for the guy to catch up I asked her if she did anything in the off season to stay fit. She said that she likes to ballroom dance, roller blade and bike! I looked at her and said that I hoped to be like her when I was old. She laughed and said thanks.
She also told me about when she started skiing. She said that when she began skiing Big White it was on wooden skiis and there was only a rope tow and a t-bar on the mountian! Man has she seen changes over the years!
It was an alright couple of runs with Arleen and captain slowy. After a while the guy began to complain that he was tired, so Arleen and I brought him back to the village. Arleen dedided that she was a bit tired too, so I did a couple of more runs by myself. On one occasion up the chair I made conversation with a very nice looking snowboard instructor.
Then after those runs I met the fam for cocktails in the hot tub. Good times.

Tuesday December 27th
Packed up and headed home. Nothing overly interesting to report about this day!

So yeah...Christmas was good. I cherished the time I got to spend with my family. I also enjoyed the chance to rest, relax and do what I wanted to do.

Time Magazine's Person of the Year....YOU!

2006-12-22T15:10:00.000-08:00

Evolution or Revolution? You tell me.

I saw the cover of Time magazine today and was interested to find that I am the person of the year...and so are you, and so is any other person who makes the choice to looking in the cheap mirror on the cover.

Apparently "you" is the person of the year. "You" have been chosen as person of the year because of the effect "you" have had on the internet this year. With the blogging, and myspace and youtube craze that has captivated us all, "you" has managed to claw its way up to the top, and win the position of Time Magazine's person of the year.

I find this to be a very interesting reflection of our culture. Not the fact that most of us are addicted to blogging, or myspace, but the fact that we would pick ourselves as person of the year. I mean who can resist reading other's thoughts, or checking one's myspace page and wondering why they have not gotten any comments since you checked 5 minutes ago. This is a post in itself....

So "you" as person of the year. Is this Time magazine's desperate cling to modern thought or is it giving in to the times?

Hurry Up and Wait

2006-12-13T22:53:00.000-08:00

So ahhh.....
Advent.

Enjoy it people. Enjoy patiently waiting. Don't rush though it and become consumed by getting to Christmas. Don't become a consumer whore, and forget what we are actually so egarly waiting for....it's not presents.
Take the time to reflect, to embrace our saviour and rejoice in waiting for the celebration of his birth, and for the day he returns.

Rejoice greatly, O Daughter of Zion!
Shout, Daughter of Jerusalem!
See, your king comes to you,
righteous and having salvation,
gentle and riding on a donkey,
on a colt, the foal of a donkey.
10 I will take away the chariots from Ephraim
and the war-horses from Jerusalem,
and the battle bow will be broken.
He will proclaim peace to the nations.
His rule will extend from sea to sea
and from the River to the ends of the earth.
Zachariah 9:9-10

For Your Information:

Advent is a holy season of the Christian church, the period of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of the Nativity of Christ, also known as the season of Christmas. It is the beginning of the Western Christian year and commences on Advent Sunday. (The Eastern churches begin the year on 1 September.)

Adventus is the Latin word for "coming", and is the exact Latin equivalent for the Greek word parousia, commonly used in reference to the Second Coming. Thus the season of Advent serves a dual reminder of the original waiting that was done by the Hebrews for the birth of their Messiah as well as the waiting that Christians today endure as they await the second coming of Jesus the Christ

Safe Sex and Licking Computer Screens - a conversation with Mike

2006-12-02T13:27:00.000-08:00

Mike H says:how's online dating?

minnow - back to the books says:meh

Mike H says:can't make out with your keyboard?

minnow - back to the books says:it is very true

Mike H says:you can lick pictures of him on your computer screen

minnow - back to the books says:he can't make new years either

minnow - back to the books says:grossy

Mike H says:ok, what? I'm taking pains to organize my schedule to pick this guy up, and now he's not even coming? what up with that?

minnow - back to the books says:I know! Just think of all the wasted brain storming too!

Mike H says:ok, you're gonna have to keep us in this loop. Why can't he make it?

minnow - back to the books says:because he was going to fly out with his dad's frequent flier points. The air line only allows X amount of "free" flights per flight. The flight was full of "free" people, and it's uber $$$ to just pay

Mike H says:how long have you been keeping this from me?

minnow - back to the books says:I would say like 3 days

Mike H says:I was totally going to have to switch shifts

Mike H says:and Linds took a whole day off work

minnow - back to the books says:I know....I kinda feel like I am going to pay for this one

Mike H says:hells yes you are

Mike H says:the mockery continues

Mike H says:so, is online sex safe?

minnow - back to the books says:you could post things about having to take the whole day off on his myspace!

Mike H says:i don't really waste time with myspace. just the blogoteca

minnow - back to the books says:ok....post stuff on his blog

Mike H says:i guess so. but won't he fall in love with me then?

minnow - back to the books says:lol....online sex....

minnow - back to the books says:awwwww is that what your were hoping for

Mike H says:no, I don't fall in love with people on the computer

minnow - back to the books says:touche

Mike H says:it's too easy michelle, really, too too easy

minnow - back to the books says:I know, i know

minnow - back to the books says:I think this might have to go on my blog, this is the funniest conversation I have had in while!

Mike H says:i'm a funny guy. you should join us in the real world more often. no more synchronized movie dates

minnow - back to the books says:I got nothin'

Mike H says:see? too easy

minnow - back to the books says:I know!

minnow - back to the books says:I make fun of me too...just so you know!

It's all TRUE!!!!!!

2006-11-29T16:56:00.000-08:00

you know your from bc when...
You consider that if it has no snow, it is not a real mountain.
You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Blendz, and Tim Horton's.
You know how to pronounce Squamish, Osoyoos & Nanaimo.
You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean and Thai food.
In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only working eight-hour days.
You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
You know that Dawson Creek is a town, not a TV show.
You can point to at least two ski mountains, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
You notice "the mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 5, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
You switch to your sandals when it gets about 10, but keep the socks on.
You recognize the background shots in your favourite movies & TV shows.
You buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old ones after such a long time.
You use a down comforter in the summer.
The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder
The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar
Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown
You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations
You've been to a deforestation protest
It's November, it's raining, but you're still wearing birkenstocks
You go broke just paying rent.
You don't own a heavy winter coat
You can't figure out why Manitoba is considered part of Western Canada.

Some Thoughts on Snow

2006-11-27T12:09:00.000-08:00

I have lived in BC for just under 12 years. After spending a short time outside today I have come to the conclusion that I am no longer climatized to the weather of my home province of Ontario....it's friggin cold outside!

Walking outside and being pelted in the face by blowing snow longer brings joy to me, it makes me want to hide in my house, in my sweat pants with a warm cup of something yummy!

Skating down my street because it is safer than actually trying to take steps feels like a survivor challenge, than part of the careless days of my youth. I can honestly say that I never fell on my butt, but there were some near misses.

And now on to the interesting part:

A NOTE TO DRIVERS IN THE LOWER MAINLAND
This message is a desperate cry to those dumb enough to try and drive anywhere in the lower mainland in the current snowy conditions.

Welcome to winter! STOP DRIVING LIKE A FRIGGIN' MORON!
Some things to consider:

1. Just because the light is green does not mean it is time to move. Why would you consider applying the gas if the person in front of you is not moving yet? Also, if the person infront of you has released their breaks, it does not mean that they are going to move right away. This is because if they are like any other driver in the southern part of BC who is very inexperienced in driving in snow they have more than likely punched the gas are are spinning thier tires. Which brings me to my next point...

2. Snow reduces friction. If you punch the gas and expect to move you are very wrong! You will spin your tires, this in turn will result in the creation of ice under your tires. Ice = no move! Don't be in such a rush to get anywhere, apply the gas gently and you will find that magically you will be able to move. SLOW DOWN JERK.

3. In keeping with the slow down theme - "Get of my ass jerk!" - Heather Toews. Tailgating in the snow is not cool. It will not get you anywhere more quickly, and you will probably end up smashing into someone.

4. In a parking lot you must imagine that there are still lines...translation: you can't park anywhere. TRUE STORY: Heather and I ventured out today to return a rented keyboard. To our dismay the place was closed due to the weather conditions. So we went to starbucks for triple grande mint mochas! In anycase we are sitting in the "comfy chairs" and I notice a guy drive up in a truck. He parks his truck on the "road" part of the parking lot! I couldn't believe it, I thought maybe he had stopped for whatever reason and then would go again and park in the lot part. I was very wrong, he gets out of his truck and walks into bucks for a coffee! By this time I had alerted Heather to the situation....we considered taking a picture. We continued to watch as people drove into the parking lot and had to manuver their cars around his jerk's truck. I think by this time he was quazi aware that Heather and I were talking about him....
Then he gets back into his and I guess his cell phone rang because now hi is stitting in his truck, talking on the phone, drinking coffee in the middle of the road where he had parked! Car continued to drive around him...he sat there for quite a while talking on his phone. Heather and I continued to talk about the dork in the truck, at one point Heather made a "what the hell are you doing" gesture at him....he saw....then shortly after he moved. Moral of the story...pretend there are lines people!

Pics from the Big Day

2006-11-26T17:12:00.000-08:00

The ceremony

The rings

Sam as Carolle's witness

Dad signs

The toast

There are more pics to come!

Reality TV Michelle and Heather Style

2006-11-24T21:28:00.000-08:00

so Heather and I are watching Starwars Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back...like right now.
And we are at the point where Darth vader is telling bounty hunters to go out and find Luke and company, but to bring them back alive.

Heather looks at me and says "I wish I was a bounty hunter!"

I killed myself laughing because all I could picture was Heather dressed up as Dog...you know like Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Then she said lets get our own reality TV show about bounty hunting. I said that I wanted to be Beth (Dog's wife). Heather told me that I don't have the clevage for it...I think she's right.

More fun at the 'Bucks

2006-11-21T15:56:00.000-08:00

so yeah... I said this phrase at work last night...

"My nostrils were raped by that guys cologne!"

I Almost Had to Change my Pants!

2006-11-20T22:57:00.000-08:00

So today in my philosophy class I spent a good chuck of the class furiously taking notes. Not notes about the content I should be learning for the final, notes about things my prof was saying. He is the funiest prof I have ever had.
Although I think that I am the only one in the class that thinks he is this funny. However most of the people in the class are fresh out of highschool, and I really think that they just don't understand this guy's humor....either that or I am a really big nerd...

In any case here are some of the phrases that caused me to almost pee my pants....

NOTE: some will be provided with context, others are funnier without it!

1. Talking about euphanisms: downsizing as dieting...
"I'd like to downsize, why can't corporations downsize?"
...ok so maybe for that one you had to be there....

2. Talking about Hyperbole
"If you wonder why there are problems with drug abuse in this country look at children's
cereal adds!"
In this case he is refering to kids saying things like "I need my pops!"

He continued to explain about his kid one day in the supermarket trying to get him to buy fruit loops. His kid was still pretty little and apparently like waddled toward him with a jumbo box of cereal he could barely carry.
My teacher blamed the crazily hyperbolized cartoon tucan making his kid want the cereal, and since they are not into feeding their kids sugar, my teacher thought it necessary to combat the hyperbolized tucan with some hyperbole of his own. So he looks at his kid and says

"We don't eat that! It's poison!!!"

....again, maybe you had to be there.....

3. Talking about blaming others for not thinking your argument is good or reasonable.
"My argument's good, what the hell's your problem"
"What the hell's wrong with you jerk, it's a good argument!"

4. Stupid Americans: Trying to explain what common knowledge is

My teacher was in Manhatten on vacation.
His bank sold him some traveller's checks that were to American Express traveller's checks with the assurance that he would be able to cash them anywhere.
It turned out that the checks he purchased could only be cashed at a bank.
So he went into a bank in Manhatten and asked to cash some of his checks.
The teller asked him for some ID, and he produced a BC driver's licence.
The teller looks at the teller next to her and says "where is BC?"
The other teller answers "I think it's in South America"
The first teller answers back "do we own that?"

That's about it. I spent the rest of the class looking out the window watching a crane work and daydreaming...and trying to stay awake....

Keep it real kids

K Fry for One

2006-11-19T18:17:00.000-08:00

First off I feel that is it necessary to mention that this is my 40th post! GO ME!!!
Here's to 40 posts of my musings, funny stories, stupid things I have said and stupid things others have said.

So today I was walking home from church and along came a big, blue truck honking at me. It was my friend Casey, so I hopped into the tuck and said hello. Casey was also on his way home from church.

Casey asked if I would like a ride home, and I said of course.
He said that he was stopping at KFC to pick up some Sunday lunch for his family.
We continued down the road and stopped at KFC. Now usually the thought of that greasey, fatty grossness they call chicken makes me want to barf. Today however, it smelled really good. So after Casey ordered his 10 piece family pack I ordered. I walked up to the counter and ordered the holiday meal for one.

Casey over heard me order and looked at me and said Michelle that is the saddest thing in the world! I told him to shut up.

We got back in the truck and Casey drove me home.
As I got out of the truck I thanked Casey for driving me home, and he told me to enjoy my meal for one...I fingered him, thanked him for the reminder and waved bye.

My meal was greasey, left me slightly bloated, probably contained more fat than I need for a whole week, and I ate alone, but man was it good!

Moral of the story: Lonliness can be medicated with grease!

...kidding

moral of the story, that much grease should only be consumed once a year!

from the lips of yours truly

2006-11-18T10:18:00.000-08:00

"Hey speaking of Clay Aken, I saw Shane Weibe today!"

Disapointed Daniel

2006-11-15T22:34:00.000-08:00

"My McFlurry is full of McNothing!"

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better!

2006-11-14T21:42:00.000-08:00

"House's house of wining, state your complaint"

More Words of Wisdom from House

2006-11-13T21:27:00.000-08:00

"Did statistics also tell you that he is a big fat idot!"

No news is good news?

2006-11-07T23:25:00.000-08:00

Hello to all my faithful readers, and to those who feel obligated to read!

Pretty much nothing blogworthy has been happening to me lately.
I have been working VERY hard on school work the last little while as the end of the semester crunch is upon me. I finished a 30 pager today! What a relief that it is finished...freakin' thing has been the bane of my existance for the last week!

Ummmm yeah I guess in that case I kinda have a prayer request.
Please pray that I will remian focused on the task at hand and that I will be able to finish well.

Keep it real kids
Michelle

Dating Tips from Grey's

2006-11-04T23:02:00.000-08:00

"Love means never using your girlfriend as a human sheild."

suitors take note

Funniest thing EVER!

2006-10-17T21:30:00.000-07:00

picture this:

Man out for a walk with his child and his dog...

Dog - not on leash
Kid - on leash

I saw it today on my way home from work.

I laughed out loud, a lot, like the dad must have though I was crazy!

what will they think of next

2006-10-10T13:07:00.000-07:00

Ok so pretty much if I see another person riding their bike down the road smoking I am going to freak out!!!

Ok ride your bike it's good for you and good for the environment, but don't ride your bike and smoke. It is not good for you or the environment...don't fill your lungs with that crap while you are apparently "going green" and don't make a bunch of secondhand smoke that is going to get into my lungs while I am walking down the street!!!

I feel better now

Peace Out Y'all
M

Pretty Much. Random

2006-10-04T22:52:00.000-07:00

so today while I was walking to church I had a thought...shocking I know, but stick with me.

If Jesus had a blog what would he write about?

You Can't Stop Our Love!!!!

2006-10-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

So Heather and I had an interesting day!
There are a couple of things that we felt necessary to share with our blogging community

1. "It's like TV at church...except better because there is scripture." - This phrase was said by a friend of ours today

2. The phrase "Jesus is my rock, I am on his roll" was on a church sign we walked by in Abbotsford today. We believe that this is why people think Christians are lame.

3. "It's like his eyebrows are weighing down his tone." Big eyebrows = flat singing.

Yeah...we feel that is pretty much it. This was a good day!
Keep it real kids

The Killers Turn Up the Suck

2006-10-01T00:22:00.000-07:00

so tonight I was watching SNL and he Killers were the musical guest...I was like sweet I dig the Killers.

Not so much!
1. Who gave the lead singer permission to grow that sick perv-stash?
2. Who dressed the lead singer? - they NEED a styalist! He totally looked like Napeolian Dynomite's grossy older brother!
3. I have never heard a professional musican suck so bad on TV before! (with the exception of Ashley Simpson of course) - He was flat for the entire song! And not just a bit flat....VERY flat...lets give him the benefit of the doubt and think that his in-ears wern't working or maybe the monitors were not working.

I am toally disappointed!

On the plus side one of the monologues was totally funny.
There was this guy and he was talking about how EVERYTHING is on youtube these days. Like even your 3rd grade production of the Sound of Music. Then he went on to say that you should log on and then mash your hand on the keyboard and press search. There is probably a video for that. SOOO funny. But I guess you needed to see it.

Who I Am

2006-09-27T12:59:00.000-07:00


Who I am

And Now For Something Completly Different...

2006-09-25T14:26:00.000-07:00

So today I was sitting in my philosophy class and it suddenly dawned on me that my teacher was not wearing his usual Monday outfit (black jeans, blue golf shirt). Then I wondered why I was more concerned about what he was wearing, rather than what he was teaching.

Weird

He Blew My Mind!!

2006-09-07T15:34:00.000-07:00

So for those of you who have not read Heather's blog, we arrived home from the Dave Matthews concert with faces rocked off and minds blown!

for a more detailed account I suggest you read Heather's blog, as I don't feel like recounting every event from the weekend.

later days kids

Ok I am adding this bit as an edit.
In Heather's blog she mentions that when I ran to the 'bucks they forgot me and drove away!
I can't believe it!!!!! But it has also been a very long time since I laughed this hard after reading anyone's blog!

Crikey!

2006-09-04T21:54:00.000-07:00

Steve Irwin, the man known around the world as the "Crocodile Hunter," has died in a stingray attack off the Great Barrier Reef.
Irwin, 44, had been filming a documentary off Port Douglas in northern Queensland when he was killed by a stingray barb through the heart. He was rushed to hospital by helicopter, but he died en route.
Steve Irwin, 44, was famous for his enthusiasm for wildlife and his catchword 'Crikey!' in his television program, Crocodile Hunter.(Lucy Nicholson/Associated Press)His documentary producer and longtime friend John Stainton was with him when he died.
"The world has lost a great wildlife icon, a passionate conservationist and one of the proudest dads on the planet," Stainton told the Australian Broadcasting Corp.
"He left this world in a peaceful and happy state of mind. He would have said, 'Crocs rule.'
Irwin and a cameraman were snorkelling in shallow water when the intrepid animal-lover swam over the stingray, which then stuck out the barb, Stainton said, adding he believed his friend died instantly.
Irwin was famous for his enthusiasm for wildlife and his catchword "Crikey!" in his television program Crocodile Hunter. First broadcast in Australia in 1992, the program was picked up by the Discovery network, catapulting Irwin to international fame.
Carmel Robertson, with the Australian Broadcasting Corp., told CBC News that Australians are in shock.
"People can't believe that the man they thought was quite invincible is dead," she said.
'Wonderful and colourful son'
Stingrays have a toxin-loaded spine on the top of their tail. Stings, while painful, are rarely fatal according to Shaun Collin, a University of Queensland marine scientist.
Collin said he suspected Irwin died because the barb pierced his heart.
"It was extraordinarily bad luck," Collin said.
Australian Prime Minister John Howard has expressed his condolences to Irwin's family, and said the country had lost a "wonderful and colourful son."
'I feel very distressed and I'm quite upset.'—Australian PM John Howard
"He was the genuine article, what you saw was what you got: He took risks, he enjoyed life, but he brought immense joy to millions of people, particularly to children, and it's just such a terrible loss and I feel very distressed and I'm quite upset."
Queensland Premier Peter Beattie told ABC News online in Australia that officials were considering holding a state funeral for Irwin but were waiting to discuss arrangements with his family.
CNN reported on Monday evening that online tribute sites for Irwin were becoming overloaded and that many sites were crashing as people around the world tried to log on.
Irwin made news headlines in 2004 after involving his infant son in one of his crocodile stunts.
Irwin held his son Bob, who was a month old at the time, in one arm while he dangled a piece of chicken over the snapping jaws of a four-metre crocodile.
Escaped charges
He later acknowledged that he should have done things differently and officials in Australia's Queensland state decided not to file charges against him.
Irwin's love for all things crawling began in 1970 when his reptile-loving father opened a small reptile park in Brisbane, Queensland.
In 1991, Irwin took over the family business and launched his Crocodile Hunter television program a year later.
Mourners have laid flowers at the entrance to Irwin's Australia Zoo.
"It was like hearing of the death of a really great friend," Lesley Manks told The Australian newspaper.
"It's hard ... it's hit home," said Manks, who once met the famous crocodile hunter.
Irwin is survived by his American-born wife Terri, their daughter Bindi Sue, 8, and son Bob.
The couple met when she went on vacation in Australia in 1991. She co-starred on her husband's television show and in his 2002 movie.

2006-08-24T08:46:00.000-07:00

Ok so this is the second time I have typed out this post. The first time I finsihed and some how managed to delete it! *sigh*

I was about to make a comment on some of the comments made on my last post and I decieded to make a new post.

First, when Glen said that I could not use the Bible to prove the existance of God I thought that it would be really difficult, but my first reaction was to ask him if he had looked out the window recently.

Secondly, when Glen pulled the allah, mohammed, budah and Jesus are all the same person card I did not feel equipt to argue that it was not the truth even though my "heresy alarm" was going off.
Now I am reading this book called Jesus Among Other Gods: The Abousolute Claims of the Christian Message by Ravi Zacharias. I have only read about 10 pages, but I am really appreciating it.
So far my favorite 2 paragraphs are as follows:

All religions are not the same. All religions do not point to God. All religions do not say that all religions are the same. At the heart of every religion is an uncompromising commitment to a particular way of defining who God is or is not and accordingly, of defining life's purpose.
Anyone who claims that all religions are the same betrays not only an ignorance of all religions but also a caricatured view of even the best-known ones. Every religion at its core is exclusive.

Well put Ravi.

When the Poop Hits the Fan God is There

2006-08-22T17:12:00.000-07:00

So I was just having coffee and planning some stuff for the up coming youth year with Tim. It was great I am excited and scared all at the same time. I think that this year I will have to rely on God more than even at camp. I also think that I am about to embark on a huge trip with God and my church based on some of the things Tim talked with me about. I feel like my eyes are being opened to a whole new world, and I am now slowly beginning to realize what is in it.

Tim is a firm believer in prophecy. I have never experienced prophecy or some one give a prophetic message before (except in the Bible, but I was not there). But he recently was given a prophetic message about our youth group. Stuff is going to happen this year, and kids from the community are going to come to Christ.
Exciting, but the community kids (come to youth, and not to church) are scary to me. I don't feel like I know how to relate to them or build relationships with them. So I am fully going to have to trust God on that one. Anyway Tim I guess has a recording of this prophecy and wants to share it with me. I am excited to hear it but I am also nervous. I think that I am just nervous about what this year holds and by listening to it I become cemented into it. Regardless I am cemented in this year, and I've got to let God lead the way.

I also told him about recent events at CBC. Tim said something to the effect "yeah, it sounds like someone hit flush and forgot to tell everyone."
I thought it was funny.
Anyway he said that there has to be some serious spiritual warfare going on there, hummm I thought to myself I just thought they were out of money!
Again my spiritual ineptness strikes again.

Then he talked to me about how my friend Joel wants to get deeper with Christ and he can't understand why. Obviously God is urging him to do so, but Joel is kinda at this spot in his life where he is trying to figure out everything so I think it is a bit nerve-racking for him.
Tim said to me that he told Joel that he thinks the God is turning up the heat.
Last days kinda stuff, which, if it is the case, I think that we are in for some crazy times!

Finally I told Tim about my new boss at work. He is cool. We spent a lot of time yesterday getting to know eachother. I talked about my time at CBC and now at UCFV etc. Then he was like so CBC eh? Is that like Biblical studies? I said yes.

Then after a bit of conversation he challenged me like this:
Michelle make me believe there is a God, without using the phrase "I believe" or "In the Bible"
He didn't mean right away, he ment while I worked with him.
My first thought was to just keep doing what I try to do at work be "wow" weird, for those of you who have not had Ken Esau, that means to live my faith.
Then we continued to have a conversation about religious wars.
An then he tried to convince me that allah, mohammed, budah and Jesus are all the same people.
Then he dropped the ultimate bomb...
If there is a God why does he let so much bad stuff happen?

I tried the free will angle but that was shot down as coming from the Bible.
Then I asked Glen if he has ever read the Bible, he said no.

Then I went back to work.

Please pray for me this year, for my youth group, for Glen and for CBC I think that this year is going to be an interesting one.

City Boy 1, Chipmunk 0

2006-08-01T10:12:00.000-07:00

So yeah...
Last week at camp was Pee Wee week. That is a short camp for kids age 7-9 that is like 2.5 days long. After that the staff have a couple of days off. For this time off a couple of us visited another staff members cabin about 30 min east of 70 Mile House.

The first morning I woke up and went out on to the deck of the cabbin to read, thinking that everyone else was still asleep. After about a paragraph of reading I looked up and up strolled Jordan with the pellet gun on his shoulder and a big dumb grin on his face.

I asked him what he was smiling about and he proudly announced that he had killed a chipmunk. He then broke into the story about how he killed the chipmunk...

He had gotten up ealier than all of us and read his book for a while. When he got tired of that he decieded to walk the property for a while; he took the gun with him. He saw a chipmunk scurry by and thought maybe he could hit it. He claimed that he did not think he would hit it but tried anyway.
He went on to describe and animal scurring across the ground and then coming to an abrupt stop and falling over. He said that on closer inspection he has managed to shoot it in the eye and it was bleeding from the mouth and eye. It was not yet, so he reloaded and finished it off by pointing the gun at it, turning his head and pulling the trigger.
Now it was .

Later that day our group decieded to go to the lake for a swim and to "shower" becuase the cabbin had no running water or electricity. As we drove down the driveway Jordan yelled stop, and he jumped out of the truck and picked up the chipmunk by the tail and showed all of us that he had indeed killed it.
He then proceeded to flop it down on to the hood of the truck.
We began to drive again and watched as its little tail flapped in the wind, and we prayed that it would not fly up and smash into the windsheild.

Later on down the road the driver had to break a little harder than usual and the chipmunk fell down onto the road.

Later after we had returned from the lake Jordon wanted a picture of himslef holding the chipmunk and the gun, so he went back down the road looking for it. After he realized that it had been fun over many times he decieded that it was not worth it.
...Good times on staff break!

A Blog-Worthy Story

2006-07-26T01:01:00.000-07:00

I had to add this email I got...
...for some reason deep down I think that it could actually happen to me one day!

CAUTION: Be prepared to laugh out loud...I laughed

till I almost cried as I could just see this happening!

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair
And now...the wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight.
Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids.
I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:
"Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of
hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get
warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever
else)
and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean,
I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.

(YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so
I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax,"
yeah...right!)
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.
It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.
I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me!
I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of
smooth skin extraordinaire !

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I
sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.
I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side
of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching
down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and
brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the
strip. CRAP!!!

Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and
spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums???
Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused
me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in
the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.
I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch.

I am touching wax.

CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which
is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped
up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

DANG!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door.

*Hoo-Hoo*?? sealed shut!

Butt?? Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop.
My head may pop off!"
What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!
I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in,
immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regionsglued
together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the
tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to! the bottom of the tub as though I had
cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!
God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a
phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter -

"So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub! "There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for
removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know
exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the
rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!!

I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I re sort to scraping the wax
off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies
covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then
dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and
I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this
event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY
GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my
friend.

It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. IT WORKS!! It works!!
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
grief and despair....

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now.
Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

DNS and the Slippery Fish

2006-07-07T10:43:00.000-07:00

So this week I pulled my first DNS out of the pool. DNS means drowning non-swimmer.
I have never done that before. In my almost 3 years of guarding at Stillwood I have never pulled anyone out before. The funny this was that I was not even lifeguarding when this happened.
Technically I am not a lifeguard this summer. So on the day of the pool party I arrived early to the pool and asked Nemo if he needed and extra guards. He said no and so I jumped in. During a particularly awesome whirlpool I happened to look over and see a little guy "climbing the ladder". This means that he was verticle in the water and he looked like he was trying to climb a ladder. The water was about level with his eyebrows - he was a little guy only a week 1 (about 7 to 9)
I grabbed him and carried him to the steps and put him down and asked him if he could walk out. At which point he kinda collapsed. So I carried him out of the pool. I carried him like you would carry a baby. So With the hand on his back I could feel that his breath was raspy - this told me that he should have a lot of water in him. After carring him out and placing him on the ground I totally expected him to throw up. But he did not, his breath was still raspy though, so I took him to the nurse.
The nurse gave him a clean bill of heath (praise God) and I took him back to the pool. Where he showed he where his shoes, towel and shirt where - all on the lawn outside of the pool. This was good as when we arrived back he look at the pool and then looked at me and said, "I don't wanna go back in there". That was fine I told him and sent someone to get one of his counsellors.
His counsellor came out and I told him what happened and also told him to keep an eye on the little boy as there was a possibility of secondary drowning.
Then I headed back to the pool, as I did I hear the little boy yell to me "thank you for saving me"
That pretty much made my summer.

Like a Fat Kid on a Smartie

2006-07-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

What is this world coming to?

I have been sending kid down to the waterfront for the better part of a week now.
Most of the kids are so funny because they go into the picnic shelter (where we store our lifejackets...well actually PFDs) to get their PFDs and come out swimming in an adult large or medium. Then I send them back in in search of a child's PFD "the one with the hood".

The sick thing is that I have sent a couple of campers down in a XL PFD. Not a child's XL either. And these kids were not wearing so many layers that they needed the XL. They were simply an XL!

7 to 9 year old kids in an XL PFD! Then we give them dessert after lunch and dinner and tons of candy at tuck time before dinner...

Yeah... now I feel better...

Yes...I am alive

2006-06-30T20:01:00.000-07:00

so ah... working at camp does not allow for the amount of time truly necessary to create an awesome post.
Nor does it give me the time to have super awesome adventures to blog about.
This blog is to simply let my faithful readers know that I am alive and well.
Camp is good and I miss Heather, Linds and Mike more and more every day

Later Days

It's Poll Time!

2006-06-03T19:38:00.000-07:00

alright...
I have been thinking about getting dreads for 4 years
My friend Jarred said he would do them for me
I really want them

Should I do it?
Yes or No

Ben, Booze, and Bad Girls

2006-05-29T16:23:00.000-07:00

So last night was the Ben Harper concert at Deer Lake Park in Burnaby.
It was a really great show!

It began with Bedouin Soundclash as the opening act. They were ok, but I have seen bands perform much better live than they did.

After Bedouin Soundclash we waited about a million years for Ben to start. But the waith was totally worth it. He sounds so amazing live! Props to him for having awesome live skills.

Later in the show he was joined by the Be Good Tanya's. I love them! They are a groups of three women out of Vancouver who can make the most incredible harmonies I have ever heard. Check out their Blue Horse album, it rocks. The only downer was that one of the Tanya's was missing. So Ben plus two Tanya's sang two songs. I must say though I was a little disappointed about the vocals by the Tanya's. They were not bringing it. Their mics were so hot that at one point there was audible feed back!

I think the Tanya's should stick to smaller venues, not crowds of 15000.

After the Tanya's Ben's band joined him on the stage for a couple of more songs and of course he played Burn One Down which resulted in possibly the most pot smoking in a single place I have ever seen in my whole life. A rockin' good time though.

The star of the show had to be the Nalgene flask though. It made it into the concert with no problems. Cleverly hidden in my sports bra, the security guys doing bag checks never knew a thing. It was far too easy, I was hoping for a little more adventure than that. Anyway the precious cargo of a cheaper Bailey's substitute was a welcome treat for myslef and my fellow concert goers Linds, Heather and Amanda.

The amazing life the the Nalgene flask was cut short today...
I put the flask part in the dishwasher, just like all my other Nalgene products, and it became deformed! I think I will be returning it as it came with no instructions and no warnings about washing. I can only hope that it will be replaced.

Until next time kids...

There's No Use Crying Over Sold Furniture!

2006-05-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

So recently I have begun the great overhall on my condo.
I have finally decieded on colors, and where those colors should go etc.
It is a long, hard process but I am happy because I can see the end in sight.

Now all I need to do is find the furniture of my dreams to fill my very empty livingroom. Right now it only has a loveseat (call the "Beer Couch" by those who frequent my house), 2 lamps, a CD tower and a bookcase. It's a little empty feeling.

So 2 days ago my dad and I set out on a quest to find the perfect furniture from my house. I went out in to the harsh world of commission sales people with a really good idea of what I was looking for. I want very contemporary, clean lines, and confortable but not bulky. All this in a couch and matching chair. The couch should be a soild fabric, pref. brown. There should be accent pillows in a print, and the matching chair sould be made with the same print material as the accent pillows.

First stop the Brick. Believe it or not I found the very thing I was looking for there! I could not believe my good luck. The set consisted of a couch, chair and loveseat all meeting the qualifications stated above. And they were on sale! Only the tag said that the set had to be sold as a set. I do not have the room for that much stuff in my little flat, so I asked if they would split it up for me. They said yes! I was so excited. Next I was told that each piece would cost about 700 dollars. I thought about it and began to wonder how they could justify pricing a chair (like 1/3 of a couch) the same as the couch. I decided to offer them 1200 dollars for the two pieces. They said no, so we walked.

That night I went back to Chilliwack and slept at dad's house and the next morning we set out to go funiture shopping. First was Grand Pappies furniture, there I found a set that met the specifications but was a bit too much money. The woman who was helping us found me a similar set for less money, but I hated all the fabric options. They were all micro fiber. I hate micro fiber. When you sit on it it leaves a butt print and when you put your hand on it it leaves a hand print...and so on.

After a couple more tries in chilliwack we decided that the Brick deal was really good, and I should swallow my pride and go back to the Brick and offer them 1400 dollars for the chair and couch set.

We arrived at the Birck and I walked toward my beautiful furniture. Beautiful furniture with a sold sign on it...
I was sad, but I managed to hold it together.

My dad then suggested that we visit a store on S. Fraser Way called Unger's.
We walked into Unger's and were greeted by a woman called Robyn, who turned out to be a very old firend of my parents. It was creepy becuase she knew my name and was able to say that I had not changed at all and I did not know who she was.

Anyway she said that she was prepaired to give me a great deal and began showing me furniture. The first couch she showed me was awful. It did not meet the my specifications at all. Now I was having a hard time holding it together. I was sniffiling and hold my eyes open. Then before I could turn around to see the next set she said the word micro fiber and I began to sob. I became like a little kid hugging my dad and crying.

Dad, being a man, did not understand why I was crying and asked his cute dad question, "what's a maddie?" Translation: "what is the matter?"

I went out to the car while dad talked to Robyn. I think Robyn felt bad. I think that she felt that she was responsible for making me cry.

What a funny, akward situation. I still feel really bad about the whole thing. I think I need to send her a card, or go see her or something, and explain to her that I was crying because I was discouraged about the Brick thing...

After that we went home.

Well... the search continues....

yeah yeah yeah

2006-05-23T15:27:00.000-07:00

for those of you who were anxiously awaiting the arrival of the nalgene flask, you will be pleased to hear that it arrived today!!
It is as blue and indestructable as I ever could have dreamed!

Now I have to hope that the narks at the Ben Harper show don't take it away!

What is blue and indestructable?

2006-05-18T15:01:00.000-07:00

So the other day a got a letter from the good people at House of Blues Concerts. Inclosed was pretty much a list of DON'TS for the Ben Harper concert Linds, Heather and I are going to on the 28th. The list included such things as:

NO lawnchairs
NO alcohol
NO pets
NO unsealed bottles

Then I began to realize that putting a couple of coolers or a mixed beverage of somesort into my Nalgene was not going to cut it. I brought this up and Linds said that her plan was to sneek in her flask. Cool I thought, what a great idea! Then I remembered one key thing...I do not own a flask. How can I fix this I thought. Then I remembered one day when I was hanging out with my friend Jarred (Jarred number 2 to those who know him well). We were looking on the MEC website at new products when we discovered that Nalgene was now making a flask! This we thought was one of the coolest gear items we had seen in a long time, except for perhaps Jarred's new ice climbing boots.
So yesterday I went down to Valhalla to look for the illusive blue, indestructable flask. My friend Chaline was working...yeah! I love her. They did not have the flask but I did end up spending over 200 dollars. Go new Mountian Hardwear rain coat and 40% off booties!
I left Valhalla on the yummy high you get when you buy cool gear. (now I wish it would rain or get cold so I could use the stuff!)
I still did not have my flask though. So I went to the old standby. I logged on the MEC website and ordered the flask and if I am lucky it will arrive before the concert.

This is the minnow signing off...

Michelle 1, Smoke Alarm 0

2006-05-18T01:16:00.000-07:00

ok so I think that a couple of you have already heard this story, but I feel that it is quite blog worthy.

Last week I was getting ready to go to bed. I sat quietly beneath my comfy, squishy blankets and propped my head against some pillows to begin reading. Good times right? Not so much, just as I began reading the smoke alarm in the suite down the hall from me started to go off. All I could think was why the heck would someone be burning food at this time of night?! (it was like after midnight) The alarm continued to go off, I think that it is kinda funny that even though it continued to go off I never began to fear that there could be fire. What does that say about saftey and smoke alarms eh? Anyway the walls in this old place are as Heather would put it "redonkulasly" thin and it was almost as if the alarm was going off in my house! Eventually I did fall asleep.

Fastforward about 12 hours and I have just roused from my slumber. Ah I think, a new, beautiful day! I don't have to work so perhaps I will go for a run. Or, I think, I could stay in bed and read Angels and Demons for the rest of the day. Of course I chose that later. So I crack the book and what do I hear, the freakin' smoke alarm from down the hall. It became aparent to me that it had been going off all night. Now I was annoyed. Clearly this thing was hard wired and it was not like the battery was going to die and then I could enjoy the peace, and Dan Brown. So I deciede to call the building caretaker, Dave.

I phoned Dave and explained to him the situation. He said that he would check it out. A few minutes later Dave called back and told me that the alarm was in a suite that was recently sold, and that the new owners had not moved in. They had also changed the locks, so there was no key to get into the suite to stop the beeping. Hummmm I thought can't they just call the new owners? Nope they only had a name and not a phone number. How can you have an owner and not have their number? Anyway that is beside my point...I was very distracted by the beeping! Dan Brown is less enjoyable when there is smoke alarm beeping going on.

So fasrforward to 3 o'clock. I had been awake and reading for three hours tring desperatly to ignore the beeping. I had also heard many other residents in the building make trips to the empty suite, banging on the door in hope of a response and a solution. Enough is engough I thought. Time to take matters into my own hands! I got out the phone book and called the local fire department. A friendly woman answered the phone and I told her that a smoke alarm down the hall from me had been going off for quite sometime. She told me that I was going to be transfered to dispatch. A very offical sounding man answered the phone by simply saying "dispatch". I explained to him the situation. He asked me exactly how long the alarm had been going off for. I anwered about 13 hours. Then I continued to say that I didn't think that there was a fire but...

He cut me off mid sentance, and said that there still could be a fire and that he was going to send someone to check it out. Ok I thought! Progress.

I sat myself at a window and waited for the firemen to arrive. Is firemen the right word? Would it be fireman? Fireman is for one fireman, or fireperson, I guess....
Anyway, 4 firemen (firepeople) showed up, in a truck, but only in their blue uniforms. No helmuts and boots for this call. But man is it true when they say the men look good in uniform!

By this time I had moved from my comfy window seat, to the peephole in my door. Lame, yes I know, but it was cheap entertainment for a girl who had been in bed for the better part of the day.

Through my peephole I watched as the firemen (firepeople) walked down the hallway to the source of the beeping. Have you ever tried to watch people through a peephole before? It is so intense. The people are in plain view and you can't help but get the feeling that if you can see them, they must be able to see you! I spent a few seconds telling myself to stop being so stupid and I went back to watching.

One of the firemen politely knocked on the door. No answer. Then he asked the others if they had tracked down the building manager, or caretaker. Just as he asked Dave met them in the hallway. Dave expalined that there was no key becuase the locks were changed by new owners. So the firemen said they would have to break the deadbolt out of the door. They were required to check the place out becuase they had been called, and clearly there must be a reason the alarm was going off.

A particularly good looking fireman returned from the truck with a tool that can break through a deadbolt. They spent about 5 minutes working on the door before they actually got it open! Then they went in and checked the place out and thankfully disconnected the alarm. In a way I kinda felt bad becuase the owners would now have to relplace the deadbolt, but I was also happy (and probably many others in the building) to have quiet for the first time in like 14 hours.

So yeah, I guess thanks to the good men and women at the Abby fire department for their hard work! I ended up finishing Angels and Demons too, I think they should make a film from this story too!

"Joel...your penis is on fire..."

2006-05-15T17:10:00.000-07:00

what an interesting summer it has been thus far.
starting with the lastest adventure...

Saturday was the annual fun(d)raiser at Stillwood. I was so very excited to go up to camp and volunteer for the day and support Andrew in the 100 km ride he did to raise money for camp. He raised 1000 dollars for camp! There are several other events in the fun(d)raiser too, the triatholon, the walkathon, the golfathon, the rideathon and the cyclathon.

Anyway, when I went up to camp I was expecting to be riding with my friend Corey in the first aid van. Our job was to drive back and forth along the routes of the different events and perform first aid if necessary.
When I arrived at camp Saturday morning I was dressed in shorts and a t shirt and my new eceptionally cool, obnixiously large sunglasses. I also borrowed a hoodie from andrew. The point I am trying to get across is that I was dressed to sit in a van all day.
When I got to camp one of the camp directors, Steve, came up to me and said he had a very special job for me. My job was to go down to the lake and sit in a tournament boat and lifeguard for the lake part of the triatholon. Yup, I was going to do my part by sitting in a hot boat and enjoying the sun shine. I was on the water from about 10:00am until about 3:00pm. Sunscreen never even crossed my mind. Well it is two days later and I pretty much look like a circus sideshow. I am like the reverse of the pizza commercial on TV. I am very red every where my sunglasses did not cover! My face was the only place that burnt to! Even better was the fact that the burn is second degree! I have a large blister on my forehead, and a small one on both cheeks. I am so very uncomfortable! Lesson learnt I guess, but remember...I was excpecting to be in a van all day, not on the water! Maybe that wear sunscreen guy was on to something.
Oh...incase you were wondering Andrew finished the 100 km bike ride in 4 hours! Go him!

So we got back to Andrew's house by about 5:00 and I had a four hour nap!! I was so pooped! I think Andrew napped too but for not as long.
After that we went up to Sumas Mt. to see Colin, Joel, Daniel and Aaron. They were at our usual fire spot, but this time they were going to be camping there. When we arrived the fire was balzing and the guys were chillaxin'. Joel was whitteling.
Joel was very excited for his project. He has a piece of 2x4 that was about 4 feet long. the end of it has a nail in it, so he decieded that he would make a handle on the end of what he was calling his sword. Slowly the handle became to look more and more like a penis, and the guys made sure to point that out. So Joel began to whittle the handle of his sword into a penis....an uncircumcized penis! It was quite a long penis too. So then the jokes began...like "would this hurt?" among other things. I found it really funny that the whole night Joel sat there stroking his penis. At one point the Joel got up to get a beer and Colin threw the sword/penis onto the fire. We were all laughing and Joel could not figure out why, then Andrew said "hey Joel...your penis is on fire!" Then he clued in and rescued his precious penis. Sometime after that Colin began to carve his own penis, becuase he thought that it you were going to carve a penis it should have testicles too. He gave up before it was complete and tossed it on the fire. Boys are funny, I laughed so hard that night.

...good times...

Running Commentary on Life

2006-04-08T16:00:00.000-07:00

So I just phoned Heather and asked her what she was doing.

The answer I got was "knitting and listening to Michael Jackson".

Think on that for a while...

My Brain is Going to Explode!!

2006-03-20T21:33:00.000-08:00

So before I go into my latest musings remember that I have seen the Constant Gardener....

So tonight I went to a lecture at UCFV about AIDS in Botswana, Africa with my firend Casey.
When we arrived we discovered that the lecture was actually a video and photography thing by this artist called Robert Semeniuk.

The evening began with an introduction by some prof from UCFV with a very cool south african accent. He said he was going to keep it short.... right
He went into a big long explanation about the history of the people in the film and photos. They are called the San people, better known as Bush People of Africa. They are an internally displaced and dislocated people. He went into many political reasons about their discplacment among other things.

Finally we saw the film. It was so incredable. It actually focused on the issue we were all there to lean about. It was amazing to see the affect of AIDS on the San people in Botswana.

There were several points in the film where I could only shake my head though. At one point he was illustrating the most idealized view of AIDS in Africa I have ever seen. So he was showing images of children that have AIDS. Tragic. But sitting next to them were their huge boxes of anti-retroviral meds that they has obtained from the clinic down the street. Yes it is true that these kids sometimes forget to take their meds, and sometimes thry get their meds mixed up with other people's, but at least they have access to them!!!

Most people in Africa do not have access to meds becuase they are too poor, or the clinics are too far away. And if they do have access to meds they are probably getting hosed by some drug company.

The second thing that made me a but uneasy was the missionary work being done in this particular area of Botswana. The missionaries in this area teach a skewed version of Dutch Reform. The start clubs called "True Love Waits" were they encourage young people to abstain until marriage. I totally agree with this, and I think that in a country where AIDS is such an issue it is a great ideal to be teaching the young people. The thing that I really had an issue with was the fact that within marriage they did not codone the use of birth control! How can discourage the use of condoms in a counrty where AIDS is as common as the flu in winter. Now in this country women do not really have a choice about wether or not they have sex with their husbands and they really have no choice wether condoms are used. Anyway if AIDS is so common then how can you not use birth control! Even if both partners abstain there are so many other ways that AIDS could be contracted.

But aside from that the presentation was amazing and Robert is a great artist. I am really gald that I had the chance to experience this film.

What it took to get an 8th grade education in 1895...

2006-03-09T18:56:00.000-08:00

Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina, Kansas, USA. It was taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina, KS, and reprinted by theSalina Journal.
8th Grade Final Exam: Salina, KS -1895

Grammar (Time, one hour)
1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of"lie,""play," and "run."
5. Define case; Illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

Arithmetic (Time, 1:25 hours)
1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1050 lbs. for tare?
4 District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $20 per metre?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Wriite a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt

U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided
2. Give an account of the discovery of Americaby Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.

Orthography (Time, one hour) Do we even know what this is??
1. What is meant by the following: Alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: Trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u.' (HUH?)
5. Give two rules for spelli! ng words with final ! 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.

Geography (Time, one hour)
1 What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?
3 Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba, Hecla, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S
7. Name all the republics of Europeand give the capital of each.
8. Why is the AtlanticCoastcolder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.

Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete. Gives the saying "he only had an 8th grade education" a whole new meaning, doesn't it?!

Ha ha ha....funny

2006-03-09T09:02:00.000-08:00

something to tide you over

2006-02-28T19:46:00.000-08:00

"Which one of these does this"
"I need an adapter to plug shit in"
"Lets get drunk and talk to eachother"
"Eddified by Michelle"
"I hope it's a hot boy!"
"Help...we need boys...ANDREW!!!"
"We need to make a Michael Buble doll"
"Waddya mean I can put my blanket in my sleeping bag?!"
"Wall quoting skills, writing skills, plant skills..."
"Vince I hate you!"
"I'm gunna tell Tony to go suck eggs!"
"It's his fault...punch him!"
"Jesus blew things up"
"Shut up Tony!"
"WWTD?"
"God's like I want that chick at all my parties"
"Now I know that why God turned water into wine, it's more fun"
"Nothing says Happy New Year like Coca Cola!"

What does God do for fun?

2006-01-21T18:35:00.000-08:00

so the other day I was sitting in my Geography 101 class while Dr. Borning was going through some material that the entire class had already read in the text, and I began to wonder. What does God do for fun?
And whatever it is he does for fun, does he have a sense of humor?

I sat there and pondered on this question a little longer and I decied that God does have a sense of humor. Here is my thinking on this subject...
...I think that when God created the universe he had a little fun.
Pretty much I think that God was like, hummm, if I am going to make this universe and everything in it maybe I'll have some fun. I'm thinkin' that our entire universe is inside a snow globe. That way God can keep everything in line a little easier. Our entire universe and all the space around it just sits there in the snow golbe on God's coffee table.

Obviously this is not the truth...or is it?
But I was just letting my mind wander, and this is what I came up with.
But I really do think that God has a sense of humor.

Still discouraging, but at least I have an answer!

2006-01-19T18:01:00.000-08:00

here is my answer:

Michelle - the survey was distributed from church council because of the
recommendation that is coming to convention this summer to change our position
from restricting women from holding the lead pastor position to allow them to.
Your quote is actually the recommendation that delegates will vote on in Calgary
and there is fierce opposition among our churches. Bakerview's council is
supportive of the recommendation and stated so to the membership in December
which caused a bit of a backlash. We held a membership meeting on January 8th
where I presented our council's rationale for supporting the recommendation. We
needed to get a sense of where the concerns regarding our position lay at
Bakerview hence the survey. You will notice that there is a service / age /
gender question on the survey. So far only those over 55 are opposed and only
those who attend the traditional service (although some attend other services as
well).
This recommendation is a huge issue here in BC. Some believe that this
recommendation compromises the truth of scripture and are threatening to
withdraw from the conference should it pass. Since the early 70's we have held
to a position that frees and affirms women for all areas of ministry in the
church except senior (lead) pastor. The recommendation this summer would remove
the restriction. Many of our churches currently do not even allow women to serve
on their elder boards which actually contravenes our conference position.
I trust this is helpful.
Michael

I understand now, but I really don't think it is necessary

Sometimes I wonder Why I Even Bother!

2006-01-18T21:42:00.000-08:00

so today at church I was hanging out with the youth, we took them rockclimbing. It was so amazing to watch those kids scurry up the wall.
Anyway when we got back I checked my mail box. There was a survey in it. At first I was excited, I like to answer questions...I don't know why...but I do.

I became more interested as I read the questions, but not because I was excited to answer questions anymore.

I'll reproduce the survey for you, well the jist of it anyway:

What is your stance on women in ministry?
I support it ______
I am neutral ______
I am against it ______
comments_________________________________________________

are you a member?
yes ___ no_____

Which service do to attend?
Traditional ______ Contemporary _______ Liturgical ______

Gender?
F ____ M____

Age
Less than 55 ________ more than 55 ____________

Name? (optional)
_________________

I cannot belive that this survey would be taken within a church that is a member of a conference that does indeed hire women in ministry positions!

It is Christ Himself who provides the gifts of leadership to the church. Therefore, we recommend that our churches receive all our Lord’s gifts and be free to discern men and women for leadership roles to which the congregation calls them and to which they are called, gifted and affirmed, including the position of lead pastor
http://www.mbconf.ca/believe/wiml/index.en.html

I plan to email the pastoral staff and find out exactly why this survey went out.
Perhaps it is a lone member and not the pastoral staff responsible for this!

It is things like this that make me (and heather) wonder why we even bother.....

Parking...for $160.00

2006-01-16T16:42:00.000-08:00

As most of you know I am currently housesitting for the Dick family. Pretty much I get to play their piano, eat their food, play with the dog and dirve their car for a couple of days.
Today I fugured that I would drive their car to school, as taking the bus takes forever!
I got to UCFV late and so I just parked and decieded not to go and pay, becuase I did not want to miss any more of the lecture I was already late for.
At lunch I went out to the car to get my lunch and realized that I had recieved a warning, telling me that to park I would have to buy a parking pass.
Not wanting to get towed I chose to move the car, obviously I am too cheap to actually buy the 2.00 parking ticket.
I moved the car out on to king road, which is where many students choose to park for free, however there are many no parking signs, so you have to be carful where you choose to park.
I found a spot. I even had to parallel park, a manouver I completed expertly...
I locked the car and went in to have lunch and attend my final lecture for the day.
After class I went out to where I had parked and the car was gone.
I immediatly knew that I had been towed!
I took a closer look and realized that my car and the two infront of me where parked in a no parking area. I never thought to look when I parked becuase I figured that if there were people infront, it must be ok to park.
I was very wrong.
I called the towing company and explained to them that the car had been towed and that it was not mine, it was my boyfriend's parents car.
She said the because I was towed becuase of a traffic violation it was a police matter and they could only release the car to the owner, then she added that 14 other cars had been towed from the UCFV campus today for similar parking violations.
My only option was to go to the police station and tell them my story and convince them to call the towing company and tell them that is was ok to release the car to me.
I phoned my aunt and she picked me up at school and took me to the police station where I pled my case. They pulled up the info on the car and asked me to answer questions such as: who is the owner, what is his address and do you have the keys to the car. I passed this test and the car was oked to be realesed to me.
My aunt drove me to the towing yard and I was able to take the car...
after I payed the 160.oo fine.
I have never paid so much for parking in my life!

if you can't beat 'um join um'...or not

2006-01-13T20:08:00.000-08:00

so I guess pretty much I have now joined the blog community I have heard so much about
now I guess my friends can make smart ass comments about what I write about like I do to them...this could get interesting.
Anyway...
I having begun a new degree at a new school, life has gotten pretty crazy. And now I have found myself emersed in a world where teachers casually swear, and denounce God on a daily basis. This is proving to be a difficult environment for me, as I have now left my safe Christian bubble, and ventured out into a world where the correct answer to a question is not Jesus, God, or gnosticism! I think that this could be some sort of test....
I hope I pass